The Domestics
by Silly Lilly Lolly
Summary: An average Saturday morning in the Karofsky-Smythe home. Smythofsky fluff, with a side of Smythofsky/Klaine friendship. Rated for Sebastian's sailor mouth and sexual references. One-shot, mildly drabble-like.


__**Silly Lilly Malvina here! I don't post much, I know, but it's not because I don't write much, it's that when I write something for this fandom I feel the need to make it perfect - which is a tall order because Glee is pretty amazing. This story has been sitting in my computer for weeks so I pushed myself to post it. It's very short, I know, so bear with me, and read the note at the bottom! Ryan Murphy owns Glee, so I don't own Glee or it's affiliates. Enjoy!**

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_Beep. Beep. Beep._

"Dave…" Sebastian whines sleepily, refusing to move from under his husband's arm.

"Hmm?" Dave replies unconsciously, snuggling closer to his husband.

_Beep-beep. Beep-beep. Beep-beep._

"Your alarm…" Sebastian persists, remaining motionless as he quite enjoys his position, if only that infernal alarm clock would _shut up_.

Dave lets out a snore in reply.

_Beep-beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-_

"Damn it, Dave!" Sebastian snaps, finally shoving Dave's heavy arm from his body. "Turn off that damn alarm clock!"

"Huh? Oh, sorry." Dave turns over and silences the machine, then rolls back over to snuggle back up to his husband. "Must have forgotten to turn it off."

Sebastian pouts, putting his head on Dave's chest. "You _always_ forget to turn the bitch off. Every damn Saturday. We get to sleep in two days a week, and Sundays aren't even that great because instead of staying in bed and having mind-blowing sex all day you insist on going to Fancy Ass's big-happy-non-family-but-like-family-brunch. Every. Damn. Sunday."

"Let's see how many expletives we can fit into the next rant, shall be, baby?" Dave deadpans, eyes fluttering closed and fingers weaving together at the small of his husband's back. "Go back to sleep. Sex later."

"I don't want sex, I want that damn alarm clock to die a bloody death."

"Aw, you're falling behind."

Sebastian opens his eyes and props up on Dave's chest. "I could do without the sarcasm. It's your fault."

Dave huffs, dragging his eyelids up reluctantly. "We have this conversation every Saturday. Why don't you turn the damn thing off yourself _before_ we go to bed if you know we're going to go through the exact same thing every Saturday morning?"

"Because when I get in bed on Friday night I'm not thinking about sleep on Saturday."

"Exactly, how can you expect me to remember when I'm the one making _you_ forget?"

"You're a bitch."

"Funny, you said I was a god last night. What a twist of fate. You're really indecisive. Are you going to strip me of husband status as well? Are you going to change out relationship on Facebook to 'Friends Who Fu-"

Sebastian slaps a hand over Dave's mouth, who begins to laugh. "You're being mean to me!"

Dave cackles as he pries his husband's hand from his mouth. "Baby, you're sleepy. Just lay down and go to sleep until you're in a better mood."

"Do you really think I'm indecisive? Because last time I checked your name is on the marriage certificate from five years ago and your ass is in this bed that we picked out together seven years ago."

"I'm just kidding, baby," Dave insists, cupping Sebastian's cheeks. "You're sleepy and moody and we just need to sleep longer, okay? Just go to sleep and then we'll get up and have a totally unhealthy breakfast and call Kurt and Blaine and tell them we won't make it to brunch tomorrow, okay?"

Sebastian's eyes light up. "Really? We don't have to go?"

Dave sighs. "You know, sometimes bargaining with you is like bargaining with a rambunctious puppy."

"As much as I - begrudgingly - like the Hummel-Anderson clan, I can only handle them so much. I've had coffee with Kurt three times this week, lunch with Blaine, ice cream after school with Tashy, and went to Thomas's t-ball game. When did we get so…gay?"

Dave can't control his laughter. "The word you're looking for is 'domestic.' And you're the one who volunteered for all of those things."

"Kurt was helping me find good agencies and clinics, I haven't talked to Blaine without Kurt interrupting in at least a month, Tashy got all A's on her report card and you went to her ballet recital when I was out of town so you were beating me on uncle points, and I was a little leaguer and between Fancy and Potterhead the kid's gotta have some athletic support and encouragement!" Sebastian gasps for breath after his speech, pink in the cheeks.

"Uncle points?"

"That's _all_ you got out of that?"

Dave chuckles. "You just don't want to admit that you like our dysfunctional little family."

"I never thought I'd be domestic. Ever. I thought I'd grow old barhopping and hooking up with men far too young for me, then die a happy old spinster with six hot twenty-something boyfriends. Like a gay Hugh Heffner."

"I don't think I've ever heard anything quite so amusing come out of your mouth. Except maybe when you said Tashy's flower girl dress wouldn't be pink because it reminded you of Pepto-bismal and that always made you throw up when you were little, and you didn't want your goddaughter to remind you of puke on your wedding day."

Sebastian scowls. "I don't like tequila. At all. And that was the same night that Kurt declared himself king of Disney and Blaine declared his everlasting love for the bartender who didn't judge him for having to hop to sit on the bar stool."

"That was a good night to be the designated driver. And the bartender wanted in on the orgy he thought we were all having."

"I could have lived my whole life without knowing that. Wasn't it a chick? Did she have no gaydar? I mean, between Fancy's getup and the bridal veil Tashy made me swear I wouldn't take off after she made me pretty…. All we needed were matching berets and a pride flag. But seriously, who would think _we_ would hook up with Klaine?"

Dave smiles through his husband's rant, gently stroking his back and glancing over at the clock to see they had been talking for the better part of half an hour. When Sebastian's long winded barrage of thoughts that lost all primary focus. "You know, you're never going to get back to sleep."

"I gave up on that after the first sound of the alarm. I just wondered where our conversation would go. You know I love our Saturday morning chats."

"I do, too. So what do you want to do today?"

"First call Klaine and tell them we're not going to brunch, then invite them over for dinner instead. We can have half a day of mind-blowing sex, then act innocent as they eat at the table we _will_ venture to in our escapades," Sebastian fixes Dave with a look he would never dare to challenge. "Then we can go for a walk, maybe go to the animal shelter and see if that litter of dachshunds has any left for adoption."

Dave smiles lovingly at his husband. "I can't believe it. I've successfully domesticated you."

Sebastian scowls. "Shut up. They were cute, and a puppy will be good practice for when we find a surrogate and have our twins."

"Twins?"

"Yes, one will be yours biologically and one will be mine, and they'll have the same mother so they're related to one another as well. I get what I want, and that's what I want, and you knew that when you married me."

"I just didn't think you were serious, or if you even remembered that. You were wasted when you said that. That was the first time I ever saw you on tequila, and it's not everyday someone tells you their master plan for a family on your second date."

"I'd resigned myself to the fact that we would be together forever after our first date ended and I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about how the goodnight hug made me feel all warm and fuzzy. I wasn't warm and fuzzy before you. You did this to me. You made me a cuddly, snuggling, Ikea shopping, family starting, pet name calling family man. You ruined gay Hugh Heffner."

Dave can barely contain his laughter. "Baby?"

"Yes, oh great tamer of men?"

"I love you."

Sebastian smiles softly, then leans down to press his lips to his husband's. "I love you, too, honey."

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**A/N: The reason this is so short is because if it wasn't this short it would be ten times as long, and to me personally it turns me off when a one-shot is ten thousand words, so I wanted to keep it short and sweet. If you saw any backstory I added that you'd like to see expanded, tell me and I'll post another one-shot. I have an entire backstory built for this, but I just couldn't bring myself to make a full length story out of this which was originally intended to be some cute Smythofsky fluff. So anything you want expanded, tell me and I'll get right on it!**

**I'm still on the lookout for a beta, so if you're a quick worker and you'd be interested, shoot me a PM, and please review! **

**_Silly Lilly Malvina_****  
**


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